


Go to Hell

by moonviewingtruth



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Demons, Dreams, I'll add more tags as the story continues, M/M, Prophetic Dreams, Slow Burn, Summoning, imp tweek, youth pastor craig, youth pastor craig/imp tweek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-01-12 10:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18444647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonviewingtruth/pseuds/moonviewingtruth
Summary: After Craig is pushed into a Youth Pastorship program at the South Park church by his mom, he meets a peculiar creature after a Satanic summoning goes wrong.





	1. Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> this is officially the third reboot of this fanfiction, and 'm determined to finish it this time. hope you enjoy!  
> also, they're not aged up. (don't worry, there's not any graphic content)

Craig stared out the window, looking into the snowy twists and turns of South Park's residential side. He couldn't believe he had been in that church for so long. It was literally daylight when his family went in, but Father Maxi and his parents had started talking for what felt like forever, and Craig left his phone at home. Now it was dusk as the purple and orange sunset washed over the mountain town, its peacefulness only interrupted by the Tuckers’ small car on its way home.

"Oh Craig," his mother started, not nearly as exhausted as he and his sister, Tricia, were. "This is going to be a great thing for you. Next week, you can start your youth pastor training!" She gushed for a while on and then fell silent as the car rolled into the driveway.

Craig let out a sigh of relief at the sight of his home, nice and boring, as it always was. Tricia was the first to leap out excitedly and run off to her room to recuperate herself from spending around 3 hours in a church, but not before giving Craig the stink eye and flipping him off. Afterall, their parents stayed so long for his “stupid church thing”.

Nonetheless, Craig trudged through the long hallway to his cozy room and almost threw off his Sunday attire. After finally switching into a pale gray NASA t-shirt and shorts, he collapsed into his bed. How could a quick trip to make jokes about the Catholic Church turn into a year-long commitment of becoming a youth pastor? His parents, like most in the town, only went for the apparent comedic value in Father Maxi’s sermons and watching Stan’s dad act like a lunatic.

But by some freak atrocity, his mom and Father Maxi turned their small talk after church into "let's force your 10-year-old son to sign a contract into staying in a church for hours every Sunday, that'll be fun".

Noticing his phone on the desk, Craig finally remembered why the long wait was so agonizing. In a place like South Park, being away for a couple of hours meant missing Canada blow up, boyfriends and girlfriends being switched like trading cards, and sniffing cat urine becoming a new drug craze.

There were a few messages and notifications, mostly from Coonstagram, but he couldn’t be bothered right now to read pages upon pages of Kyle ranting and Stan’s “deep” reposted memes. Craig decided it was probably be best to just call it a night and stare out the window into the sky until he fell asleep again. He matched constellation to constellation until all of his worries and resentments about the day melted away, and he fell asleep with his hat still on his head.

The next morning came quickly, at least for Craig, who was by no definition an early bird. Or a night owl, for that matter. He just slept a lot.

After hearing the alarm, Craig groaned for a bit before trudging out of bed and onto his feet. He looked at the clock, and reasoned that if he could get ready in 5 minutes, he could take the bus with his friends. He hated having to get dropped off by his mom or dad, because that meant riding with Tricia’s complaining and his dad’s annoying speeches about doing well in school and finding a girlfriend. He was only ten, for god’s sake. But it still felt like he was the only one in his friend group, even class, who never had an interest in girls. Clyde was notorious for making a fool of himself with pick-up lines and flirting, Jimmy was a self-proclaimed “ladies man”, and even Token, before Nichole, was with Wendy for like, a day. Maybe two.

Clearing his thoughts of things he really shouldn’t care about, he threw on his blue sweater and sweatpants and slammed open his door to go downstairs and get breakfast.

“Craig, sweetie, it’s going to be cold out today, why don’t you wear something warmer?” His mom asked him, laying down a glass of orange juice for Tricia, who was hungrily munching on a waffle.

“I’m good, mom.” Craig replied, glancing out the window to see a yellow bus pulling up at the end of his street. He quickly lathered another waffle in syrup before shoving it in his mouth and running out the door.

“Craig! Sit do-”

“BYE MOM LOVE YOU GOTTA GO!”

Luckily for him, Craig made it to the bus stop in time, climbing on just fast enough to make it. Now, however, he had to deal with their bus driver, Mrs. Crabtree.

“Next time don’t be late, Tucker!” she screamed into his face with her eyes squeezed shut and mouth curled into her signature Crabtree scowl. Craig just nodded and began to make his way to his seat.

“What a bitch…” Craig whispered to himself as he began to make his way down the aisle.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” Mrs. Crabtree blared down at him again.

“Uh… I said I saw a ditch.” He spoke out on the spot, hoping the bus driver wouldn’t ask anymore questions.

“Oh, yes ditches are fairly common around here.” Mrs. Crabtree said again, her enraged face subsiding into something more passive. Craig let out a sigh of relief and slumped down in his usual seat, next to a familiar face.

“Hey Clyde.” he breathed out.

“Craig! You weren’t on for Jimmy’s house yesterday? What gives!?” Clyde asked, eyeing Craig suspiciously for “betraying” the friend group.

“I had to stay at church for another 3 hours thanks to my mom.” Craig grumbled, leaning back into his seat.

“What were you doing at church for 3 hours?” Clyde asked, now feeling more confused than betrayed.

Craig thought for a minute. Should he really tell Clyde about the youth pastor thing or keep it to himself in shame? Clyde was his best friend in the world, but he was still a bit of a gossip and drama queen when it came to any secrets or “spicy details”. But seeing Clyde’s face and the concern of what such a boring person like Craig did instead of be with his friends convinced him to tell.

“My mom signed me up for this Youth Pastor program.” Craig said in an extra nasally and annoyed tone. At first, Clyde was silent. Then he began laughing.

“HAHAHA!! OH MY GOD!!”

“Clyde!”

“HAHA!! Hey! Can I call you- pfft- Father Craig now?” Clyde sputtered out as he kept giggling to himself.

“No you may not!” Craig responded, immediately regretting telling Clyde. He wouldn’t hear the end of this for a week, at least. Clyde finally finished his little laughing fit and looked up at Craig again.

“Well Craig, I always knew you were gay, but now since you’re a fancy shmancy priest, we can’t keep you around the kindergarteners!” he smirked at his own little joke, elbowing a very disgruntled Craig.

“Oh god, now I gotta deal with Catholic priest jo-” Craig paused, realizing Clyde’s wording. “Did you just call me gay?” Clyde glanced up at him again, his grin fading the slightest bit when confronted by his taller friend.

“Nah, man, it was just a joke.”

Craig couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t a joke. Did Clyde really think he was gay? He wasn’t gay, was he? Nope. Craig Tucker liked tits, and tits alone. He even found himself trying to get into Clyde’s ramble about girls at school and at Raisins, just to prove that point to himself. As his other friends, Token and Jimmy climbed onto the bus and they all started their usual chitchat, the thought lingered in the back of Craig’s mind and was only overshadowed by the dread of school when they arrived at South Park Elementary.

For the rest of the day, things seemed to run as normal for Craig. He ran from class to class, flipped off some people (mainly teachers), and finally accepted the existential dread that he was gonna fail another math quiz. When it was finally time to get on the buses and head home for an exciting day of watching his favorite show, Red Racer, and playing with Stripe #3, his beloved guinea pig, Craig noticed something strange. The Goth Kids weren’t staying behind the school as usual, but actually walking towards the bus lines. Walking straight towards Craig.  
Craig never wanted anything to do with the Goth Kids, they were pretty strange, and that was something not exactly accepted in Craig’s little world. When they finally approached him, Craig turned around to get a puff of smoke blown into his face by one Henrietta. He coughed for a bit before asking Henrietta “what the hell her problem was”.

The goths scoffed at Craig’s usual bluntness, before Pete stepped up.

“You’re Craig Tucker, right?”

Craig, who was already pretty confused about this whole encounter, didn’t understand why the goths would want to know anything about him, starting from his full name.

“Yeah.”

The noirette group gave each other a glance before Henrietta took another breath from her (fake) cigarette.

“And… you’re the new youth pastor down at the church right?”

“How did you know that!?” Craig exclaimed, half-expecting to hear the goths tell him about a spell or curse they put on him to steal his thoughts or something. Geez, now he was getting paranoid.

“The little red conformist told us about it.” Henrietta responded, dragging her fake cigarette again, this time away from Craig’s face. “He seemed to be very excited for you.”

“Oh.” Craig realized, “Clyde.”

“Yeah.” Mike responded, “so anyways, you’ll be there Sunday nights right?” Craig was somewhat shocked by this. Did the Goth Kids really want to see him, and at a church for that matter?  
“Mind your own business, I’m not hanging out with any of you.” Craig said, turning back to face the front of the line and very tempted to immediately flip them the bird.

“No no no, Craig.” Pete spoke out, “We wouldn’t want to hang out with you either, y’know. But you seem chill about a lot of stuff so we just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t tell on us if we uh.... hung out in the graveyard while you were around there.”

Craig groaned. That’s so fucking lame- and goth of them. Of course they’d want to hang out in the only part of town somewhat spooky and dark. But they really didn’t hurt anyone, and he assumed that if he didn’t talk to them, they wouldn’t talk to him.

“Alright, deal. Just don’t bother us.” Craig ordered, glad the conversation was over. The goth kids looked at each other and started to retreat back to the back of the school, by the dumpsters.

“Ugh, I’m gonna have to talk to Clyde about this. How many people already know?” Craig asked himself, climbing onto the newly arrived school bus and sitting down, alone. None of the others would be joining him on the way home today. Clyde did football after school, Jimmy did newspaper and yearbook, and Token got picked up by his parents in their limo. Craig pulled out his phone to text Clyde, so he could see after practice, but suddenly, a large weight sat down. Right next to him. And Craig knew exactly who it was without even have to look up.

“Well, Craig. I heard you’re getting yourself a little divine skewling, huh?” the annoying voice giggled into Craig’s ear.

“Fuck off Cartman, go annoy your friends.” Craig nonchalantly responded. The very last thing he needed today was Eric Cartman coming to annoy him for a grueling 15 minutes until he got home.

“Wow, I’m not your friend Craig? I don’t think that’s something a good priest would say to his child.” Cartman purred again, obviously trying to get a rare reaction from the stoic Craig. Craig finally looked up at the fatass’ huge face, and subsequently flipped it off.

“That wasn’t very Catholic of you Craig. You’re gonna go to hell if you keep doing that to me.”

“I’d rather be in hell than sitting with you right now.” Craig thought to himself, trying to just ignore the fat tease.

Cartman continued to annoy and pester Craig for the rest of the ride, but failed to get anything more than a couple “fuck you”s and middle fingers from his priest jokes he learned at church. Finally, Craig looked out the window and saw his house approaching. His escape. He grabbed his backpack and stood up to get off the bus when Cartman blocked his way to the aisle. Although the fat boy wasn’t as tall as Craig, he was well, fat, and halted Craig’s progress.

“Move out of the way, fatass.” Craig growled, not wanting to let such a little shit like Cartman get to him.

“Sure, fag.” Cartman lidded his eyes and laughed, “If you get down on your knees and say a Hail Mary!”

There were those thoughts again. Fag. Did Clyde also tell Cartman that he thought he was gay?! No, Clyde wouldn’t do that. And Cartman called everyone a fag. Even girls, which made no sense. Secondly, Craig was pretty sure he was gonna kick Cartman’s ass right on the bus if he didn’t shut up with the Catholic jokes.

“Move- out of the- way!” Craig grunted, trying to push Cartman out to no avail. The smaller boy let out a jeer of laughter and closed his eyes as he began to recite,

“Hail Mary, full of-”

Craig couldn’t take it anymore. He knew the only way to get rid of Cartman was to fight him or ignore him, but when the latter didn’t work, he just socked him right in his fat face and tossed himself over the seat to get home. Most of the kids on the bus were cheering, while Mrs. Crabtree finally noticed and started hollering down the bus door at Craig, who was making his daring escape. Craig ran into his house, slammed the door, and let out a sigh of relief. At least no one was home. His mom and dad were working until 5 and Tricia was probably out playing with Karen McCormick again.

He knew that tomorrow was either gonna be heaven or hell, considering he just punched the biggest asshole of the entire grade. But for now, he didn’t care. He climbed up the stairs and dumped his bag onto the floor of his room, once he approached it. Now he could finally begin his relaxing day of doing nothing and not giving a care in the world. He went up to Stripe #3’s cage, picked her up, and carried her safely in his arms onto the bean bag in front of his TV, which he turned on to find Red Racer already playing.  
After a long night of watching his favorite show, playing with his guinea pig, and having a quick and relatively painless dinner with his family, Craig got right back where he was the night before and drifted off to sleep by looking at the stars.

But he had a strange dream that night. Craig usually didn’t dream at all, so it was unusual to say the least.

Craig, in the dream, woke up to find himself in a graveyard with misty fog dancing around the edges of tombstones with unreadable names. He wandered around for a little bit before realizing he felt a bit tight in his neck. Craig finally looked down at his attire to find that he was wearing a full on pastor outfit, fit with the clerical collar and all.

“Alright, the spooky graveyard thing was ok but NOW this is what I call a nightmare.” Craig thought to himself, trying to unravel the collar a bit so it wouldn’t hurt as much, but it just got tighter. Suddenly, he saw a dim orange light from behind a huge grave, which eventually glowed brighter until it looked like a fire coming straight from the ground. When he looked at the fire more and more, all he saw were a pair of shaken green eyes and chanting he couldn’t understand. 

The eyes seemed to get brighter and brighter until Craig woke up, not remembering the dream at all.


	2. Green Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig begins his youth pastorship training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shIT this is like 3000 words what

The next week for Craig went by quickly, almost too fast for someone who loved to take it easy like him. Showing up at school the day after he punched Cartman in the face wasn’t too hard either, most kids congratulated him while the fat boy himself stayed in the shadows and sulked at his defeat. Finally, the dreaded day arrived. Sunday. After the church service ended, Craig felt the pit in his stomach get heavier at what he’d have to do next. Would he have to say prayers? File shit for the church? Clean the bathrooms? Ew...

Craig’s mom got up out of the pew and led her son into one of the basement rooms where Father Maxi had told him to meet up afterwards.

“Now you be good, Craig” his mother said, “I even heard that one of your little friends is gonna be part of it too!” Craig was immediately a bit more interested. Maybe this youth pastorship thing wouldn’t be so bad.

“Really? Who?” He asked. Maybe Clyde took pity on him and joined. Maybe Token’s parents roped him into it. Maybe Jimmy was looking for yet another extracurricular activity. Craig and his mom opened the door to the biggest room at the end of the stairs and-

“Oh. Great. It’s you.”

The small blonde standing across from him, decked out in choirboy robes, let out a gleeful smile at the sight of Craig.

“Heya Craig!” Butters exclaimed, overjoyed, “Gosh, I didn’t think you would be joining us! What a swell fella you must be Craig!” The previous hope in Craig’s mind quickly turned to despair. This was going great, wasn’t it? Not only was he a youth pastor, he was now a youth pastor working with Butters. He never saw anything wrong with Butters, or held a grudge, it was just that… Well… it was Butters for Christ’s sake!

“Alright children, it’s time to prepare for our first meeting.” Father Maxi said as he walked into the room, taking off his usual robe from the mass and adjusting his black jacket.

“Wait, it’s just us?” Craig asked Father Maxi, a bit relieved if this was the case. Less people meant less shit to put up with.

“I’m afraid so, Craig.” Father Maxi replied, “No one else signed up. It was just you and good ol’ Butters over here!”

“Yup. Of course it was... good ol’ Butters.” Craig muttered to himself. His mother was already halfway out the door.

“Have a fun time, Craig! I’ll pick you up at 8!” she said, closing the door behind her, and leaving her son alone in a room with a priest and the biggest dweeb of their entire school. Father Maxi sat down on a chair behind a desk and smiled at the two boys.

 

“I’m so glad you two could join us in helping run our little church. Let’s start with a prayer.” he said, putting his hands together and beginning to recite the “Our Father”. Butters did the same, closing his eyes and smiling just like Father Maxi. Craig also held up his hands but didn’t speak. This was just the beginning of his torture, huh?

When the prayer was done, Father Maxi took out a set of black clothes and two large bells from his mahogany desk. He handed the bells to Butters, who gleefully began ringing them like no tomorrow, and gave the outfit to Craig.

“What’s this?” Craig asked.

“Your uniform.” Father Maxi explained, “Butters came early so he already has his attire on, but you can go into the bathroom and change into these. The mens’ room is three doors to your right.”

Craig nodded in understanding and began to get up. As he walked into the bathroom, he made one last check of the phone in his pocket, since it was gonna be the last time he used it for a while. It was 6:02. He still had an hour and 58 minutes to go until he could go home.

 

After going into a stall and changing, Craig stepped out and took a long look at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, he did look more distinguished now than his usual style of a regular blue sweater with guinea pig fur scattered all over it. He was wearing a dark gray tab shirt adorned with the collar at the top. Over that, he had a black jacket that was a bit too long for his hands to fully come through the sleeves. He didn’t bother taking off his blue chullo hat, since he wore it so much that no one would be able to recognize him without it. In an effort to look a bit more refined, he pushed back some of his messy black hair back into the hat and looked in the mirror again. Good. For a youth pastor, at least.

Craig stepped out of the bathroom to find Butters already standing right outside, the bells in his hands ringing excitedly once he saw his new partner.

“Come on now, Craig! Father Maxi says you get to go up on the altar and practice!” he said, turning around and running up the stairs to the main church building.

“Practice for what?” Craig asked himself aloud as he followed Butters up. He giggled a bit, as if Craig was supposed to know everything on his first day.

“Ya gotta preach at some point, silly!” Butters chimed, “I bet it’ll be great Craig!”

Craig simply let out a sigh of defeat as he finished climbing up the stairs. He made his way to where Father Maxi was sitting on the altar in front of the now-empty church.

“You’re looking like a real youth pastor now, Craig!” he grinned, “Let’s see if you can preach like one as well!” Butters wasn’t joking. Craig just kind of stood there for a moment, staring blankly into space or at Father Maxi.

“What should I preach about?”

“Whatever comes to mind, Craig.” Father Maxi answered, handing him a heavy microphone. “Your spirituality, an experience, or just your thoughts about the church.”

As Craig was searching his now blank mind, looking for something to say, Butters smiled eagerly and sat down on the floor next to the priest. They were both waiting. Was Craig really supposed to improvise? He couldn’t do anything with just “oh ho ho do whatever comes to mind!”. 

“It’s ok.” he thought to himself, “If Jimmy can do this every night and make up jokes on the spot, you can say a couple words about God and Jesus or whatever.”

Craig turned the microphone toward his mouth and tapped it twice lightly. The entire church seemed to tremble from those two touches alone. Craig gulped and took a breath in as he prepared to speak. 

“Y’know uh… I believe in God too. Isn’t that crazy?” he said, and immediately regretted it. He was in a Catholic church. How stupid could you get?

“Uh… people say that like… the Bible is the answer to everything.” he continued, beginning to sweat a bit, “And like, yeah! Totally! You do that, dude.”

Craig could already tell that Father Maxi was beginning to seriously regret having him speak.

“I met the antichrist once. His name was Damien. He threw me into a brick wall for no reason. And… that’s... why you shouldn’t... follow Satan? The end.”

“Alright, thank you Craig. That was… interesting.” Father Maxi stood up and said as Butters kept a blank face. Craig felt an uncommon twinge of embarrassment. Father Maxi took the microphone from Craig and put on an awkward but reassuring smile.

“I’m sure you will get better in time.” Father Maxi said, bending down a bit to look Craig in the eye. “Tell ya what, why don’t you… Go downstairs and clean up the bathrooms?”

Craig’s neutral face quickly turned into one of disgust. He really fucked up that badly, huh? He passed the microphone to Father Maxi and began to trudge down the stairs again.

“You’ll find the cleaning supplies in the closet right next to it!” Father Maxi called out after him, which Craig heard and only got more angry about having to do anything for this stupid program. As he opened the closet to find some Windex, a plunger, and some wipes, he could hear Butters clanging his bells and Father Maxi laughing on the altar. At least they were having fun. Now that the only adult in the entire church was out of sight, Craig checked his phone again. It was 6:15. An hour and 45 minutes of boredom, which Craig wouldn’t mind if he weren’t cleaning the bathrooms.

 

Just as Craig was about to reach his fate, he heard what sounded like a loud bang from the back door. Father Maxi probably didn’t hear it, he and Butters were still practicing their loud-ass bells. Craig’s urge to go anywhere other than where he was now forced him to go investigate. As he made his way silently up the stairs, he heard it again. It was outside, in the graveyard. Wow. That’s not creepy.

Craig slowly opened the door to see a small red light coming from the back of the otherwise empty and foggy graveyard. Being South Park in the winter, it was already pitch-black outside, and the moon’s reflections on the tombstones littered across the field made it seem even more eerie than it was. Craig, with the door still ajar, looked back into the light of the church, and then out again into the darkness of the cemetery. 

Normally, Craig would always avoid danger or suspicious thoughts as much as possible. He hated them. He hated putting himself in these situations where anything could go wrong, or where he didn’t have control over the conflict. But the light at the end of the graveyard peaked his once dormant curiosity, and his wish to not clean some smelly bathrooms.  
He made his way out into the graveyard, and saw 4 figures around a large red light in the distance.

 

“Hey!” he called out, “Who are you?!”

“Hey, I thought you weren’t going to bother us!” Henrietta scoffed back at Craig, seeing him approach quickly. Craig suddenly remembered the promise he made.

“Oh. Yeah, sorry.” he mumbled out, starting to turn around and ignore the whole encounter until he noticed something. The Goth Kids drew a pentagram into the grass of the cemetery. And it was glowing red.

“What the fuck is that?” he asked, backing up into a headstone. All 4 of the Goth Kids gave him one big shush.

“Don’t mess up the ritual, conformist!” Micheal said, placing a strange book down on the ground.

“Ritual?” Craig boomed, “I agreed to let you ‘hang out’ in the graveyard and do your goth shit, and this is what I get in return. God dammit.”

“Whatever.” Pete said, “It probably won’t work now that you’ve gone and me-”

At that moment, the pentagram began to glow brighter and shake the ground a bit. Craig’s vision was getting fuzzy, but he could still see the Goth Kids’ expressions going from annoyed, to excited, to determined.

“Out of the way!” Firkle said, pushing Craig so hard he tripped behind the tombstone he was backed up again. How was that kid so fucking strong!? Craig, now fearing for his safety, stayed behind the tombstone and listened carefully to what the goths were gonna do next. The tiny one, Firkle, began to chant from a book open on the ground.

“Hrl͢ ̷l͟ae̴i ̴ez͘ ͘i͝ep҉hr̢ wm҉gc͘, ̨s͠eaa̷mj͜d ̢hrl͠ vmo s͝ezz̴l̕l ̨f̢eo͏ ̨he̵ ͟m͏g͝ņil!” 

 

A bright light began shining straight out of the pentagram, as a small hole opened from the middle. The wind got intense, even for mountain standards. Leaves, twigs, and flowers all over the graveyard started flying around. Craig continued hiding behind the large gravestone, shutting his eyes and wondering why the FUCK these Goth Kids would do this so near a church.  
The Goth Kids must’ve had a change of heart, or started fearing for their safety as well, since Craig soon heard the shufflings of four pairs of feet running away, shouting at each other to hurry up and get out.

Craig, still behind the tombstone, felt paralyzed. He didn’t dare move, at least, not until he knew the coast was clear.

Suddenly, it all stopped, and Craig could feel the focus coming back into his eyes and the blood rushing back to his face. He huffed out a couple times, still in a bit of shock, but soon got back his neutral stare and state of mind.

“What the hell just happened?” Craig thought to himself.

 

Craig dared to peek up over the gravestone and saw the back figure of… a demon. At least, what he assumed was a demon.

It had disheveled blonde hair, topped with two small red horns. Out of the back, layered with a thin green shirt, were two shriveled and pointed wings, which twitched a bit as the figure looked around. It’s… tail also was quivering hastily, as if the host had no control over it or its actions. A couple times, its sharp edge even got close to Craig’s face behind the tombstone.  
Craig was, suffice to say, actually scared. Or worried. Or curious. He didn’t know what emotion he was feeling, just that the pit in his stomach from joining a church program was nothing compared to this. He didn’t sign up for the program in the first place, let alone seeing a demon with his own two eyes.

Craig decided the best course of action now was to just… walk away. And not take his eyes off the figure as it frantically looked around and whispered to itself. If he could make it into the church, hopefully the demon couldn’t hurt him.

Craig mutely stood up, and started to back away slowly to where he came from. The demon didn’t seem to be looking behind him, so Craig figured that as long as he kept silently moving backwards, he’d eventually reach the church and-

“FUCK!”

He yelled as he tripped over yet another small tombstone, landing flat on his back with a thump. 

Realizing his critical error, Craig snapped his head up to see the demon looking straight at him with glowing green eyes.

“Huh?” he heard the demon stammer out from only a couple yards away.

Craig scrambled to his feet and started booking it towards the back doors of the church. He could hear the demon behind him unfurl his wings and start flapping towards him, the sound getting louder and louder. Craig finally managed to get to the back door, yanking it open as he heard the demon shout after him in a worried tone.

“Hey! Wait! I-”

Craig didn’t bother to hear the rest of it, he slammed the door behind him and listened to the demon slammed his head against the now-locked mahogany entryways. Craig stood by the door for what seemed like an eternity, sometimes hearing little scratches or whimpering and crying from the demon. Once he had time to regain his breath, Craig decided to make a run for it. He ran downstairs, grabbed the clothes he changed out of, and hurried to the main entrance of the church.

“Craig?!” Father Maxi boomed, seeing him leave, “What are you doing? It’s not 8 o’ clock yet!”

“SORRY FATHER MAXI IT’S AN EMERGENCY GOTTA GO BYE!” Craig yelled back, bursting through the exit and desperately flipping his head from side to side, making sure the demon wasn’t following him.

 

Craig walked the long way home that night, only turning around to make sure the demon wasn’t following him. However, he made it home in one piece, with no sign of the demon even leaving the church. When he arrived back at his house, his mom was in the doorway just preparing to go pick him up.

“Craig? What the hell are you doing here?” she inquired, giving a very suspicious look to Craig.

“Oh, um… we finished early.” Craig sputtered out, hoping that his lie would convince his mom not to ask anymore questions. Luckily, she bought it, and lead Craig back into the safety of his home.

“Are you okay, sweetie? You seem a bit on edge.”

Craig simply gave her an “mhm” and started towards his room. 

“Oh, and Craig!” she belted up the stairs, where Craig was. Craig paused and turned around slightly to make eye contact.

“I think you look very handsome in that uniform.” she smiled, turning around into the living room to join her husband watching TV. Craig stayed on the step for a few more seconds in slight embarrassment, before letting out a sigh of relief, and rushing to his room.

 

He immediately took the uncomfortable but dignified clothes off of him, and threw them onto his dresser. He didn't want to think about anything involving the church anymore. This was Craig-time now. No youth pastors, no graveyards, and no crazy green-eyed demons.

Craig was never so eager to hop into his pajamas and curl up in bed, almost clutching the covers for support. He stared at the ceiling instead of the stars, as looking out the window ran the risk of seeing- or being seen by- the demon. Was it following him? Craig silently reasoned that since he saw nothing on his way home, it wouldn’t have known where he went. He was safe now. With that in mind, Craig drifted off to sleep.

 

But in the meantime, another dream emerged in Craig’s sleeping mind.

He was in school, except it was nighttime, and no one was in the hallways. Craig wasn’t too worried though, he’d experienced this a couple times when he got out of detention late and had to make his way out of the school alone. 

Just as he was beginning to reach the exit, he heard some soft sniffling coming from around a corner. As he poked around to see what it was, he saw a boy, about his age, looking like he was crying in a corner between two locker blocks. Craig silently approached the somewhat-familiar boy, not knowing what to say or do in a situation like this. Craig arrived right next to the boy, who wouldn’t turn up his head and acknowledge his presence.

“Hey-” was all Craig managed to get out before he noticed the crying boy was no longer crying, but looking up at Craig in fear. It was the demon that he saw in the graveyard. Despite his now vulnerable and harmless appearance, without the horns and wings and tail, he had now invaded Craig’s dreams.

Craig woke up in a sweat, no longer remembering anything about the dream he had. He checked the clock right on his nightstand, and saw that it was 3am. Craig just grunted a bit as he turned over onto his side to get some more sleep.


	3. Overheard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Craig catches someone spying on him in the trees, he turns to an unlikely ally for advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey isn't it kind of funny how i'm basically doing this entire fanfic during the holiest week of the catholic calendar? whack man.

The next day, Craig woke up with a sense of peace. He had gone to bed pretty early, which would normally be a good thing, if he didn’t immediately remember why it was that he ran home and fell asleep so soon.

Eh. If there was now a demon in South Park he was sure that it wouldn’t be going after him. Some bozos like Kyle and Stan and those guys would make it a whole adventure and eventually banish it back to wherever it came from. It happened all the time. Why should this one be any different?

 

Craig continued his usual morning routine and ran out the door with a couple minutes to spare as he approached the bus stop. Since he had more time, he decided to unwind a bit and listen to music on his phone. He felt in an 80s music mood for some reason. As he opened up Pandora and the blank blue loading screen came up, he noticed something strange in the reflection off his phone. He could see himself staring down at the phone and the trees behind him, but something seemed to move among the clustered pine trees. He turned around calmly, ready to just pass it off as a squirrel or bird, but then noticed that whatever it was, it was big. And it had a sharp, devil-like tail.

Craig’s breath hitched in his throat, as he couldn’t take his eyes off the wagging appendage. It had found him, somehow. Right at the bus stop, and so close to his house.

 

Turning around, Craig pretended like he didn’t see anything, and looked back to his phone. Craig hastily turned on the music, put his earbuds in, and stared out silently at the empty road. A few moments passed, and one of the songs came and went, but Craig was still on edge. Just as he thought he heard a heavy rustle in the trees behind him, the bus arrived, and Craig leaped on, managing to not get a peep out of Mrs. Crabtree. He went down the bus and sat at his usual seat with Clyde.

“What’s up, Craig? You look kind of shook.” he said, moving his backpack off the seat to make space for his best friend.

“Huh?” was all Craig could reply, he was so deep in thought.

“It’s cool dude!” Clyde said with a smile. “So… how was chuuuurrrch…?” Craig groaned and looked down at Clyde with an adamant stare.

“I’m not telling you anything.”

“What?! Why?” Clyde stammered, posing his shoulders so he looked a bit taller.

“The entire school knew about me even being a youth pastor hours after I told you.” Craig explained, “How do you think that happens? Huh?!” It came out a bit meaner than what Craig intended, but it’s what he really felt about the whole thing. If he didn’t tell Clyde about being in a church all night, the Goth Kids would never have come, and then he wouldn’t have a stupid fucking demon following him around!

Tears began to form in Clyde’s eyes, as he sputtered out,

“I’m sorry Craig!! I just told Token but then I also told Jimmy and then Jimmy told Kyle and then Kyle told Stan and then Stan told-”

“Alright! It’s fine! I get it!” Craig snapped out, shutting Clyde up really good. Craig honestly didn’t want to talk to Clyde about this anymore, and sighed before changing the subject to video games. Once Token and Jimmy arrived on the bus, Craig switched seats so that Jimmy and Clyde could talk about girls some more and so he could talk to Token.

 

Token sometimes seemed to be one of the only normal kids in their class, at least to Craig. He figured he could have a somewhat useful discussion with him about this, and maybe give a very funny hypothetical about what you would do if you saw some assholes summon a demon in a church graveyard. Y’know. That kind of stuff.

“Hey Craig!” Token said happily as Craig sat down next to him. “How was the church thingy?”

“Terrible.” Craig replied, “Father Maxi gave up on me the moment I opened my mouth to say anything about God.”

“I mean, it’s your first time ever preaching, right Craig? It’s not gonna be perfect.” Token said, attempted to consul his friend. “Aw… I’m really sorry, Crai-”

“What? No, Token! Maybe this is a good thing.” Craig cut him off, starting to think of a plan to get out of this program. “If I keep just being awful at preaching, maybe Father Maxi will just tell my mom I’m not cut out for this stuff.”

“So… you don’t like doing this program?” Token asked, perplexed.

“Of course not, it’s fucking gay.” Craig replied, “Why would you think I would voluntarily want to join a youth pastorship program? Me, of all people?”

“Well… Clyde just told me that you were doing it, so I assumed it was your choice. Did your parents sign you up or something?” Token answered, staring into Craig’s slightly irritated expression.

Craig was humiliated that now everyone just assumed that Craig himself wanted to do this youth pastorship thing. He probably seemed like such a dweeb now. Just like Butters, who did actually sign up by himself.

“Since that’s out of the way now, what did you even have to do after preaching?” Token asked innocently. Craig didn’t know if he had an answer for that. On one hand, he could lie and say he finished cleaning the bathrooms, but Token would probably giggle at that. On the other hand, he could tell Token what happened with the goth kids.

But that was a risky move. While Token would always keep a secret for anyone, he was also best friends with Clyde. And to be honest, Token was also terrified of anything unnatural or evil, like… a demon.

“I… left early.” Craig said, technically not lying. Token only gave Craig another pat on the back and they began talking about movies. But the thought of getting advice about something way out of his control from a level-headed friend like Token stuck with Craig.

 

“So Token, um… crazy question I know, but… what do you think you would do if you felt like someone was watching you?” Craig asked as they filed off the bus. Token thought for a minute, and then turned back to Craig as they made their way down the tiny steps of the bus and onto the pavement.

“Well, Craig. I know I’m not the bravest person around, but I’d confront them about it. Maybe someone just wants to be your friend!” he said softly before waving goodbye at his friend and running off into the school. Craig stood there for a bit and thought about what Token said. 

“Confront them about it… is that really the best option?” Craig pondered, “Maybe I could get some protection just in case it does want to kill me or whatever.” Craig reached his first class- English- and slumped down into his seat, thinking about who or what he could find to defend himself.

 

As he was thinking and the class was beginning, he saw Pete walking down the hallways into the bathroom. Craig had the urge to leap from his seat and beat Pete up for basically leaving him to die in the cemetery. What a little asshole.

Wait… Pete’s the one who summoned him. He should know something about how to defend himself against demons! Craig could ask him and get help… but not before getting some revenge on the coward.

 

Craig quickly excused himself from class and followed Pete right into the bathroom, where he was relighting his cigarette.

“Oh look.” Pete said, flipping his hair, “It’s you.”

Craig locked the door to the bathroom and eyed down Pete angrily. Craig had a reputation of beating kids up in the rare moments where he got mad, so the weaker Pete, when he got the message, suddenly realized what he was up against.

“Hey, hey, look man.” Pete started, frantically putting out his cigarette, “I know you’re kind of upset about the whole graveyard thing but-”

“Uh, yeah!?” Craig barked back, slowly stepping closer to Pete, “You basically left me to fucking die!” Pete slightly trembled under Craig’s shadow, smiling nervously.

“D-did it work?”

“What?”

“Did you like… see anything? After we left?”

“As a matter of fact, I did.” Craig responded bitterly, “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you about.” Pete’s expression faded from that of worry to a more confused look. 

“You guys summoned some demon thing, and it chased me back into the church.”

“Woah… cool…” Pete gasped, which Craig slapped him for. “Hey, stop!”

“It’s been following me around since then, I saw it at the bus stop today, and I need to get it out of my life.” Craig added, crossing his arms and staring down at the goth.  


“Hmm… why should I tell you how to banish an imp? You know nothing of the craft.” Pete said with a new sense of confidence at Craig's little problem.

“An imp?” Craig asked, not knowing what the hell Pete was talking about.

“We tried to summon Satan-” Pete started.

“Why. Why would you summon Satan? Why would you summon Satan in a church graveyard?!”” Craig cut him off.

“Shush, okay, conformist!” Pete grumbled, “We tried to summon Satan, but then you had to go and mess up our perfectly arranged ritual, so we got an imp instead.”

“Oh joy, you didn’t get the Prince of Darkness, you just got one of his minions to follow me around. That’s so much better.” Craig responded sarcastically, “So back to my original question, how do I get rid of it?”

“I’m not telling you, conformist scum. Leave me be, in the shadows of my misery.” Pete responded with confidence, turning his back to Craig and relighting his cigarette.

“I’ll tell on you.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll tell your parents that you tried to summon Satan.”

Pete thought for a moment or two, and then let out a sigh.

“Alright fine.” he started, taking a hit from his cigarette and blowing it into Craig’s face, “So, imps are like, mischievous creatures who-”

“I don’t want a Wikipedia article, I want to know how to get rid of it!” Craig yelled, getting very impatient by Pete’s bullshit.

“Alright so, with an imp, you can bind it to an object and basically drag it around with you as long as you’re holding it. If you bind that imp that’s following and bring it to us, we can send it back to hell.” Pete continued, gesticulating slowly with his cigarette and flipping his hair out of his face. Craig was a bit suspicious now, but determined.

“You promise that this’ll work? And you’ll send it back?” Craig asked, wanting to make sure he wasn’t gonna be pranked, or worse, “How do I bind it anyways?”

“Just put some of your blood on the object and chant out ‘v̛l͝h nj͏ h͏r̡ļ zeecn̕j e̢f̢t̢l͢s̛h̡’” Pete responded, as if it was second nature to him.

“How... do I do that with my mouth?” Craig asked, kind of freaked out by the goth at this point.

“I don’t know man, just throw it at the imp and maybe it’ll work.” Pete responded, flipping his hair again.

“That seems much simpler.” Craig muttered.

“Whatever. Just go away now.” Pete responded, turning away from Craig again and sulking in the corner of the bathroom. Well, at least Craig got what he wanted. 

“Alright. But if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, I will tell on you.” Craig said, unlocking the bathroom door and walking out, thinking of his next move to bring his life back to normal.

 

Just as he left, the toliet from the very farthest stall flushed and a figure covered in an orange parka stepped out and stood dumbfounded for a minute or two at what he just heard. He turned to Pete, who was on his phone at this point, and back at the door.

"Woah... What the fuck, dude?"


	4. First Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig finally finds himself face to face with the demon he's been thinking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's really short... sorry. i'll update more next week.

As Craig made his way out of the school building that day and onto the bus, he kept his head down and his thoughts racing. He couldn’t help but doubt Pete’s wild theory about how to get rid of his “problem”, but if a real-life demon, imp or whatever, was following him around and probably planning something freaky, then he had to go off of his only lead.

Then again, this was Pete Thelman we were talking about.

When Craig sat down on the bus, he tried to think about what he’d use to bind the imp. It had to be something small, so he could at least carry it to the Goths, but also nothing suspicious. No one needed to know the mess he was in.

After getting off the bus, this time with no issues from Cartman, Craig raced into his empty house and locked the door, poking his head through the curtains to look at the bus stop again. No sign of the thing anywhere. Oh well, at least if it did come, he’d be prepared. He hoped. He could honestly care less about the imp in question, he just wanted it over with and to be able to return to his regularly scheduled life.

 

Craig made his way to the kitchen, past the piles of dirty dishes and cups that he or Tricia were supposed to be doing, and opened the fridge to grab a soda. As he closed the fridge and looked up after opening his can of Sprite, he almost dropped it out of his hands.

It was right there. In front of him. Just looking nervous and staring at him.

Craig’s breath was caught in his throat. Even though the imp was a bit smaller than him and rather innocent-looking, he couldn’t take any chances. Now was his one and only shot.  
“H-” the thing started.

Craig, without thinking, threw the soda can at the imp, almost grazing his blonde hair. The soda smashed into the doorframe behind the imp and splattered all over the counter and walls.

“AAGH!! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?!” the imp screamed, lashing its tail back and forth and stepping backwards from Craig and his now hellbent and terrifying face. Craig just reached for the second closest thing to him on the counter, now a coffee mug, and hurled it (and missed) again at the demon, who seemed to be on the verge of all out panic.

“H-hey man! Just let me talk to you I can explain-”

Before it could continue, another mug went flying past the imp’s face, but it was too quick and dodged immediately. Craig was dead set on catching this thing, grabbing a plate this time and flinged it at the imp like a frisbee, which just made another pile of shattered ceramics on the floor. The imp tried to escape around a corner into the living room, but not before another missed mug shattered so badly right next to him that he let out an “eep” and ducked behind the couch.

Craig grabbed another cup, having the perfect opportunity to catch this thing (and then clean up the mess he made in the kitchen). He slowly and quietly made his way around the end of the couch, before he was knocked back into the wall with enough force to make him pass out. The last thing he saw was the imp wielding a red pitchfork looking thing and looking terrified.

 

When Craig woke up, he was on top of his bed, with a huge headache. He didn’t remember what happened right away, and opened his eyes slightly, lidded and dazed. He heard an unfamiliar but soothing voice over him, and closed his eyes again and groaned.

“Oh! You’re up! Gah! Are you okay?”

Craig only groaned in response, too tired to even move.

“I ngh… I cleaned everything up for you downstairs… S-sorry for causing such a mess.”

“Izz coooool mannnn….” is all Craig managed to slur out, turning onto his side towards the voice.

“C-can I just… hng… talk to you now?” the voice continued, “W-without you trying to ack- trap me?”

Craig opened his eyes slightly, starting to jog his memory at the sound of the voice mentioning downstairs and... trapping them? Who would Craig want to-

All the memories came back, and Craig sat up and his bed and rubbed his eyes, realizing that his headache was subsiding. He turned to his right and the imp was just standing… right there. Craig didn’t even have the energy to move or think right, let alone grab an object near enough to him. The only thing he could possibly throw at the imp was his pillows, which the imp arranged delicately around his head and neck. So for now, Craig just stayed still and stared at the thing, right in its jade green eyes.

“Ok umm… um… I’m so sorry, I haven’t talked to a human in… oh god…” The imp shuddered, grabbing his tail and fidgeting with it out of stress. Craig continued sitting there dumbfounded.

“I- ack! My name’s Tweek, and I’m an imp.” the imp stuttered out, “A-after I was summoned, I was so scared! Gah! You were the only person I could um… y’know, talk to. Craig, right?”

Craig gulped, sitting there as Tweek continued to twitch and play with his tail. 

“H… how do you know my name? And how’d you follow me home?” Craig mumbled, “I was alone.”

“N-not really.” Tweek responded, “I couldn’t come in the church but I- ngh- saw you leaving. So I f-flew after you. I was so nervous, man!”

“Flew?”

“Mhm…” Tweek muttered, stretching his wings out.

Craig looked to his other side, his face confused and still a bit tired, he started thinking about Pete’s directions, and what his parents would do if they found out a literal demon was in the house at some point.

“Are you gonna hurt me?” Craig asked, “You already knocked me out with that trident thingy.” Tweek did not take that very well, and began tugging at his hair and squeezing his eyes shut.

“That was an accident! I’m so so sorry, Craig!” he yelled, “I wouldn’t wanna.. Ngh- hurt you!”

Craig pivoted his head back at Tweek, and took his chance. He yanked off his own hat and threw it heavily right into Tweek’s upper chest. A bright white light seemed to connect the hat and the demon for a split second, before going away and leaving Tweek staring at Craig, confused and startled.

“D-did you just…”

Craig grabbed his hat again and pulled it over his raven black hair. He looked at the small clock at the edge of his bed, it was 3:55. He’d only been out for 20 minutes. Craig got up from the bed and began walking out and into the hallway.

“W-wait! Craig, what are you-” Tweek yelled before a small light emitted from all over his body, and basically dragged him closer to Craig on the floor. He turned around and looked at the imp, in a bit of disbelief.

“Huh. I actually didn’t think that would work.” Craig said, and continued downstairs and looked out over the living room where their previous encounter had taken place. Tweek followed right behind, not wanting to be dragged across the floor again.

 

Craig walked into the kitchen, and was somewhat to see that Tweek had been telling the truth. The kitchen looked as if a soul never entered it. 

“Are y-you crazy, dude?!” Tweek yelped, right behind him, “You binded me to your stupid- ngh-hat! The only way to unbind it i-is if I go back to hell!”

“That’s the point.” Craig responded, turning back to Tweek and putting his hands in his pockets. “I’m taking you to the people who summoned you. They’ll bring you back home and out of my life.” Tweek was taken back, and turned his wings down softly.

“Y-you… you’re gonna send me back to h-hell?”

“Umm… yeah.” Craig said, “Isn’t that your home?”

Tweek looked down at his feet in despair, and clutched at his shirt while starting to breathe heavily.

“It’s too much pressure!” Tweek squeaked, flapping his wings erratically and having his face turn red, “I-I can’t go back there! It’s terrible! It’s awful! It’s-”

“Hell?”

“YES!” 

After a minute of thinking, Craig let out a sigh and looked back at Tweek.

“You can stay here for tonight.” Craig started, “I’ll tell my parents it’s a sleepover. But you have to hide your demon-y… parts.” Tweek paused his flapping and smiled at Craig, as if he just saved his life.

“We’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.” Craig said, “Based on what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think you’ll hurt me. Just don’t throw me at any walls once you get scared, alright?”

“Th-thank you, Craig.” Tweek stuttered, “I promise, ngh, I can do this! I h-hope this works out…"


	5. Fire and Brimstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig and Tweek begin to get along, but how long can their new friendship last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i kind of abandoned this fic for a while, hope you enjoy!

“So like… you can summon that pitchfork thing whenever?” 

“Y-yeah, but it goes away after a bit.” 

Tweek and Craig were both lounging around Craig’s room, where Tweek was getting used to talking with his new human pal. Craig was on the foot of his bed, holding and petting Stripe, while Tweek was sitting on the bean bag in front of Craig’s TV. Red Racer was playing quietly in the background, as Craig wanted to enlighten Tweek to “the pinnacle of human culture”. Craig noticed that Tweek kept looking at the guinea pig in his hands.

“This is Stripe #3.” Craig began, “You wanna hold her?” Tweek blinked sat up in the bean bag.

“C-can I?” he gasped, twitching his right eye shut for a second. Craig gently passed Stripe over into Tweek’s cupped hands, where she nuzzled his thumb for a bit before burying her face in his palm and resting. Tweek let out a shaky smile and started caressing her fur with his pinky finger. 

“I think she likes you.”

“Y-You think so?” Tweek responded, not taking his eyes off the small creature in his hands.

“If Stripe trusts you, I do too.” Craig said, nudging himself up to the bean bag Tweek was sitting on and petting Stripe’s back. Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on Craig’s door. 

“Craig? Is someone in there?” Craig heard his mom through the door, before turning back to Tweek with wide eyes.

“Uhhh… Yeah mom!” Craig said as he threw his hat onto Tweek’s hair to cover up his horns.

“Ngh, what are you doing??” Tweek whispered frantically, before getting the message and tucking his wings and tail behind him and covering them with a blanket on the floor.  
"Craig? Is that Clyde? Open up.” His mom continued, knocking more. Craig unlocked and poked his head out of the door, looking up at his mother.

“Hey mom.” Craig muttered, trying to keep his mom’s view of Tweek out so he didn’t have any explaining to do. 

“Are you talking to someone?” She said, pushing the door a little bit more open, and setting her eyes on Tweek. Tweek was shaking, wrapped up in the blanket and making sure that Craig’s hat was firmly on his head.

“Oh! Who’s this, sweetie?” Mrs. Tucker asked, looking down at Craig again. “Is he staying the night?”

Craig blinked back at his mother, and then at Tweek.

“His name’s Tweek.” Craig responded, “And yeah. I guess.”

“Alright, as long as his parents are ok with it. You two have fun now!” She said, closing the door again and clicking her high heels down the hall. Both Craig and Tweek let out a huge sigh of relief as Tweek unfurled and stretched out his dark red wings.

Craig picked up Stripe #3, and took this time to just look at the imp in full. How’d he end up here? He went from becoming a Youth Pastor against his will to housing a literal demon summoned by a bunch of emos. 

He supposed it could be worse.

He could be one of Stan’s gang. Then he’d be getting into stuff like this every week.

“W-what are you looking at- ack?!” Tweek snapped in a huff, making Craig realize that he’d been staring at Tweek the entire time he had been thinking.

“Uhh… sorry…” Craig said, feeling somewhat ashamed. He sat down next to Tweek and continued petting Stripe with him and watching Red Racer in the background.

It was nice to have… someone around now. He very rarely invited his friends over to *his* house and didn’t do anything after school either. Craig realized that he enjoyed the companionship, even if it was an otherworldly being.

“Craig?”

“Yeah?”

“I-if your mom asks about my life… what should I say?” Tweek asked, somberly looking down at Stripe once again nuzzling his wrist.

“You could just say what they did when you were alive.” Craig replied, now a bit interested in Tweek’s backstory. Tweek shook his head.

“I was born in hell.” He mumbled, his petting of Stripe stopping, which she took notice to and looked up at him. “But I… I wish I was alive.”

“How come?” Craig tilted his head, “I think it’d be kind of cool to be a pitchfork-wielding demon. I wouldn’t take crap from anybody.”

Tweek glared back at him.

“It sucks in hell, man!” He whined, “Everything’s on fire and everyone’s so mean and you can only- gah!- talk to humans if they mess up on summoning something else.”

“Oh…”

“If I was alive, I could make friends and have a n-normal life.” Tweek said, “But whether it was that or n-not, who’d wanna be friends with... me?”

“I would” Craig blurted. Tweek looked at him with big eyes.

“What?”

“I mean… you’re cool. You have a cool pitchfork thing and you watch Red Racer with me. And, Stripe likes you a lot. You’d be fine in a school.” Tweek glanced down at Stripe, then at Craig, and gave a huge smile. He set Stripe down on the beanbag and smashed himself into Craig’s chest, hugging him with both his arms and his wings. Craig just stood there, shocked and a bit flustered. He was admittedly in a haze of confusion, and his cheeks turned bright red as soon as Tweek touched him. After a couple seconds, Tweek looked up at him.

“A-are you okay, Craig?” he stammered out, “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh! Uh…”

“I’m s-sorry Craig!” Tweek cut him off, “I just thought hugs were the way that… humans show- gah- gratitude?!”

“Well,” Craig began, leaning to one side, “Yeah… but also like… other stuff too.”

Tweek just nodded in understanding.

 

That night, when it was time for bed, Craig offered to grab a sleeping bag from deep within his closet, but once he turned around from the closet and looked at his bed, he saw Tweek’s tail poking out from underneath.

“Ok, whatever this works.” Craig muttered as he tossed the sleeping bag back in. “There’s a demon under my bed. Cool.” He collapsed in his sheets and let his heavy eyelids close.

Craig dreamed that he was in a small cave, with no light coming through the walls. He got up slowly and began feeling his way around. The cave was only about the size of his bedroom, and there didn’t seem to be any obstacles around for him to trip on. Craig leaned against the wall, but as soon as he did, a red light started to glow from the top of the cave.

“So, you think you can just waltz in and take one of my minions?” A high-pitched voice said from the light. Craig tilted his head.

“What?”

“The demon you are housing, he’s nothing but trouble for you.” The voice said again, “He belongs here, with the fire and brimstone.” Craig couldn’t help but giggle a little bit.

“Why are you laughing, mortal?”

“Ghehe… Sorry it’s just… pfft, nothing, go on.” Craig replied, putting a hand over his mouth.

“You’re making fun of my voice!” The girlish voice exclaimed, “How dare you! You are in my domain right now!”

Craig felt like he recognized the voice from somewhere. But that didn’t change the fact that it failed in threatening him. Craig kept giggling at its shrill threats. The atmosphere of the room immediately changed, and he stopped laughing. Small patches of fire started springing up all over the room, startling Craig and forcing him to hop around them as they gradually spread. Eventually, the fire surrounded him and enclosed him right in the middle of the red light. Craig looked up, and saw a familiar face.

“Hey! You’re…” Craig started, glaring up at it’s long black hair and red eyes. The fire got closer.

“Bring. Back. My. Minion.” Damian whispered, before flicking his hand and having the fire envelop Craig for a split second, before he woke up in his bed to the treble of his alarm clock.


	6. More Than You Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you bring an imp to school with you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in a while, but this chapter was 2000 words and a lot of thought! hope you enjoy!

Craig shot up in his bed, still woozy from the dream. Usually, he didn’t remember his dreams, but this one must of been important somehow. Being somewhat ashamed to admit to himself that he was scared shitless, he lingered in bed for another couple of minutes. That kid from third grade… The one who threw him against a brick wall with his crazy-ass wind, the anti-christ, Damien. He wanted Tweek back.

Well, Craig decided he wasn’t going to let go of his new friend so easily. Tweek made him feel… happy. It was like how he was with all his others friends, but different somehow. There was just something about the imp that made Craig’s stomach turn. 

Maybe it was the fact that he was keeping an imp in his house. That would make your stomach turn. In a way that’s not totally gay. At all.

Craig shot his eyes at his alarm clock again. He had 5 minutes before the bus was coming. It took him about 5 minutes to get his clothes and schoolwork together, plus another 5 minutes for breakfast and actually walking to the bus stop. How’d he spend so much time in bed doing nothing but thinking about that dream… and Tweek? Either way, he’d have to get a ride from his dad.

“DDAAAAAADDD” Craig yelled from his bed.

“WHAT?!” his father yelled back from downstairs.

“CAN YOU DRIVE ME TO SCHOOL?”

“WHAAAAAT?”

“CAN! YOU DRIVE! ME! TO SCHOOL!?”

“OKAY!”

Now that his transport situation was all figured out, Craig let out a sigh and stepped off his bed, immediately feeling something grab around his ankle. He let out a cry and fell face-first onto the carpet. The next thing he heard was a small shuffle, and then a yelp.

“GaaAAAHHH!!! Craig! I’m so sorry!” Tweek screamed, scuffling out from under the bed. Craig only grunted in response.

“I heard yelling and I-I thought there was a monster- ACK- oh god!!” Tweek continued, pulling his hair and panicking. Craig flipped over on his back and looked up at the other kid crouching over him. His hair was a mess, more than it was before, and his wings were flapping erratically, like they always did when he was nervous. Craig sat up and grabbed Tweek’s shoulder.

“Hey, don’t freak out, it’s cool.” he groaned, feeling a bruise start to swell on his forehead. He touched it lightly with his other hand and got up slowly. “So, what are we doing about school?”

“Huh? Oh, um… I don’t know, man.” Tweek responded, “I can’t really leave your side, remember? I’m bound to your hat.” Tweek pointed up at Craig’s hat, which he was putting on to help cover up the bruise on the top of his forehead, along with brushing his hair over it. 

“Then um… you’ll have to follow me around at school. I’ll just say you’re from out of town.” Craig reasoned, putting on his signature blue jacket over his pajama top. “We’ll just need to hide… all that…” he gestured all over Tweek’s body, at his horns, wings, and tail. Craig could see a bit of a blush in Tweek’s cheeks. He opened his closet and after a bit of rummaging, found a brown flat cap his grandma once bought for him back when he was 5. It was way too big for him then, but it fit Tweek perfectly and also covered up his small horns. That was one issue down. While he was doing that, Tweek was folding his wings and tucking them inside his shirt, and wrapping his tail around his leg inside his jeans. Craig stepped back and looked at his friend. He looked just like a regular fourth grader, safe for the bags under his eyes and messy hair falling from under the cap. Tweek smiled, adjusting his cap a bit and looking at Craig with glimmer in his eyes.

“You look… pretty good, dude…” Craig spoke out, staring at those green eyes.

“Thanks!” Tweek gleamed, “Without the tail and wings and stuff it… makes me feel human, y-y’know?”

Craig felt a tug at his lips as well.

“Ok, so, since my hat is connected to you or whatever, you’ll have to stick by me for the whole day. The teachers hopefully won’t ask too many questions, ‘cuz they’re kind of oblivious.” Craig stated, grabbing his backpack and starting out the door. Tweek followed close behind him, not wanting to be dragged across the floor like last time.

“O-oh man… what if they do ask questions?!” Tweek said, following him out, “What if they ask me where I’m from?! Or for my homework?! Or how my day is doing??” 

Craig turned around to face Tweek again, wanting to get the potentially suspicious questions out of the way before facing his parents. 

“Tweek, we can get through this, I know it. I bet you’re capable of more than you think.”

“Y-you really think so, C-Craig?”

“Yeah, now come on, let’s get breakfast and get in the car.”

 

Once they arrived at South Park Elementary, and Craig, Tricia, and their father gave a goodbye middle-finger, Craig headed in to his, sorry, their first class, math. Tweek was right behind him, looking around frantically at the hallways, seemingly infatuated at all the movement, sights, and sounds around him. Despite being his usual anxious self and maybe a bit overwhelmed, Tweek looked more curious than worried whenever Craig looked back at him. Craig just held onto his hand and made sure he felt comfortable.

Most of the day went off without a hitch. From class to class, most teachers didn’t even acknowledge Tweek in the room or just asked for his name and why he was there. Tweek was nervous at first, but gradually got more comfortable stating his name and that he was a friend of Craig’s quietly. The most backlash he got was from Cartman, calling him a spaz, but Craig just explained that Cartman was... Cartman.

However, this peace wouldn’t last for long. Before going to lunch, Tweek pulled Craig aside to an empty corridor and started twitching a bit more.

“What’s wrong?” Craig asked, coming out a bit more angrier than he would’ve liked.

“Um… I hope this doesn’t bother you but…” Tweek mumbled, “Could we stop somewhere where there isn’t anyone?? My wings hurt, I need to stretch them out.” Craig just nodded and gestured for Tweek to follow him into the boys’ bathroom. No one ever came there during lunch, since no one wanted to miss out time on their only free period.

Once inside, Tweek glanced around for a bit, to make sure no one was there, before arching his wings back through the small slits in his shirt and flapping them for a bit, and then stretched them out as far as they could go. Craig just leaned against a sink and stared at him the imp. As Tweek shook and flapped his wings quietly, Craig saw the smile on his face. There was something in that smile that did something to him, made him happy, but he didn't know what.

Craig was lost in his thoughts for a solid minute, before being snapped out of it by the clinking and jiggling of the bathroom lock. He ran up towards the door, aiming to barricade it with his body, but it was too late. 

The door opened, and both Tweek and Craig froze in their positions as the boy with the orange parka peeked inside.

“Woah…” Kenny gasped, then snapped up at Craig, “I think you’ve got some explaining to do.”

“GGAAAAHHHH!!!” Tweek screamed, bringing his wings right behind his back again, “WHAT’S HE DOING HERE?!?!”

“Dude, chill it’s cool.” Kenny responded calmly, before stepping in and locking the door. Craig gave Kenny one of the iciest stares known to man, intimidating him greatly.

“NO IT’S NOT YOU SAW ME AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA TELL AN EXORCIST AND I’M GONNA GO BACK TO HELL EVERYTHING IS RUI-”

This time, it was Craig’s turn to interrupt. He grabbed Kenny by the hood of his parka and brought him up to his face, not letting go of his stare. 

“You’re not telling anyone anything.” he hissed, glaring at Kenny’s worried face. Kenny was backed against a wall, trying to free himself from Craig’s chokehold. Craig couldn’t see it, but Tweek was standing a couple feet behind him timidly. What if he hurt that boy?!

“Craig, stop!” Tweek yelped out, which Craig ignored.

“I thought you were gonna get rid of him.” Kenny grunted out, not struggling anymore. Craig’s face turned white.

“What?!” Craig and Tweek said at the same time. Craig dropped Kenny, who immediately slumped up against the wall and started coughing.  
“Careful dude, you could’ve killed me, haha!” 

Craig glanced back at Tweek, who was now stuffing his wings back into the slits in his shirt. He looked so embarrassed.

“What do you mean?” Craig asked, standing over Kenny intimidatingly. “How did you know about Tweek?” 

“Uhh… you and the emo kid were talking about it yesterday.” Kenny responded optimistically, “Buuuut I guess it didn’t work, huh~?” he added on that last part, as if teasing Craig. Or maybe feeling sorry for him. Either way, it just made Craig more angry.

“There was… A change of plans.” Craig talked through his teeth.

“You sold your soul to it?!” Kenny exclaimed, “Wow Craig, I didn’t know you even had one!”

“Nghh! I’m not an “it”!” Tweek yelled from behind both of them, causing the other two to snap around quickly. “And he didn’t sell his soul to me! That’d be so messed up, dude!”

Craig turned back around and walked up to Tweek, standing next to him as he continued twitching and shaking from the pressure.

“I’m assuming you want something from us,” Craig started, “I mean, you’re friends with literally the biggest asshole in town.”

“What are you trying to say, Craig?” Kenny smirked, getting up and dusting off his parka.

“I wouldn’t put it past you to just ‘bring it up’ and have things turn into some big adventure where everyone overreacts and… Tweek has to leave.” Craig responded, turning his head away at the last part.

“Soo… the demon stays? With you?” Kenny asked.

“Sure.”

“Whatever, man. If you wanna get possessed by a demon I’m all for itl.” Kenny smirked, not noticing that Tweek was hurt by that comment. “Oh, Butters might be sad though.”

“Who’s Butters?” Tweek asked, looking up at Craig uneasily.

“Some kid in our school,” Craig said, “I do… oh… youth pastorship. With him.”

“Ngh! He’d be crushed if he found out you were with m-me!”

“Uh oh… are you two… special buddies~?” Kenny smiled, raising one eyebrow.

“NO.” They both said at the same time and with the same tone. Craig turned his attention back to Tweek, who was starting to tremble again. Kenny got up and started to walk out of the room. He stopped right behind the closed door, before turning around and saying one last thing.

“I hope you get this sorted out, Craig…” he started, “Butters and Father Maxi wouldn’t be happy about this, but I won’t tell a sou-”

 

** SLAM **

 

Craig almost gasped and Tweek jumped back, pulling at his hair and shrieking. The heavy bathroom door had completely slammed Kenny’s head into the wall. Both boys could be sure that someone outside could’ve heard the sound of the door and bones cracking. Craig could see small droplets of blood start to splatter and spread onto the dirty bathroom wall. He was starting to feel queasy.Whoever did this had squashed Kenny like… a fly. 

He looked to his left, trying to see who would be so careless, but no one was there. The door just seemed to bang itself open. More blood was spilling out by now.

“W-who killed him!?” Tweek sputtered, tears forming in his eyes as he twitched and pulled his hair.

“Some… bastard…” Craig responded, walking slowly upwards and out the door. He peered out into the hallway, expecting to see someone either running away or at least some evidence that a living person had done the deed, but there was nothing.

“Let’s get out of here.” Craig talked through his teeth, grabbing Tweek’s hand, and rushing out of the bathroom.


	7. No Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig's dreams lead him to unsavory places and people, and he must decide what's important to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i abandoned this fic for a while guys... a lot was going on with school and family, but... this is the second to last chapter, so buckle up!

“Jesus man, he didn’t know!! What if whatever killed him comes for us next, we’re witnesses! GAH!” Tweek squealed as he sat down on the cool grey seats of the bus. The two were on their way home now, still not quite over the scene that had unfolded in the bathroom.

“No one’s coming for us.” Craig said, determined, “It was just an accident, whoever killed Kenny wouldn’t have murder on their mind.” Tweek only pulled and played with the frays of hair still sticking out from under his cap in response. Suddenly, they heard a long sigh from above them.

“Kind of sucks, huh, gaywads?” Eric Cartman smirked, resting his elbows on Tweek and Craig’s seat as they both looked up at him. “Kenny’s dead and gone…”

“The only gaywad here is you, fatboy.” Craig snapped back.

“Wait… you two aren’t… together?” Cartman asked as his eyebrows perked up in interest. “But you’ve been following each other around all day and holding hands?”

“W-we’re not gay!” Tweek turned back at Cartman, his blonde brows furrowed in annoyance.

“Omigosh...this is a tragedy! I have to arrange something with Cupid Me, right now!” Cartman rambled before popping back into his seat again and out of the boys’ sight.

“Wah!! Cupids!?” Tweek yelped.

“Just ignore him.” Craig mumbled, staring out the window.

 

Once they arrived back at Craig’s empty house, and made sure all the windows were covered, Tweek threw off the cap and unfurled his wings and tail. He noticed Craig staring at him.

“I… I hope you don’t mind me showing this stuff around you.” Tweek shifted, flapping his wings lightly to get the stiffness out.

“Trust me, dude.” Craig said, “I really don’t care anymore.” Craig was starting to climb up the stairs with a soda and a bag of chips he grabbed from the kitchen when Tweek continued.

“I look like a monster.”

Craig turned around, and noticed Tweek staring at himself in the living room mirror, lightly scratching at his small horns.

“Today was the only day I’ve ever felt like a normal kid, y’know? But at the end of the day, I’m still just an imp.” Tweek stated, tugging at his sleeves and twitching again. Craig started to feel really bad for him. He couldn’t exactly relate with Tweek’s struggles, or fix it, but he was glad he could help his new friend fit in for once in his life.

“You’re…” Craig trailed off, not finding the words. Communication was never his strong suit, and it was hard to describe this rush of emotions in the stoic Craig Tucker.

“You’re like… way… way more than just that dude.” He finally got out, “You’re like any other kid at school, it doesn’t matter whether you’re human or not, I really don’t care about any of that. You’re you, and you can’t be reduced to just a label.” After saying all that, Craig realized his hands were trembling, and he couldn’t figure out if it was the effect Tweek had on him or just the cold soda in his right hand. Tweek stared at Craig for a moment before smiling softly.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he said, walking up to Craig on the stairs. “Today was great. I had a lot of fun being… normal. With you.”

“You didn’t exactly have a choice,” Craig reasoned, “If you got too far away from me, you’d just get pulled back. You’re binded to my hat, remember?”

Tweek nodded, “And you’re too stubborn to take it off, huh?”

“Yes.” Craig smirked, as Tweek’s eyes darted to the side.

“Everyone thinks we’re gay too, because we never left each others’ sides. Gah! What a bad first impression…”

Craig’s mind immediately went back to when Clyde called him gay on the bus, back when he was first going to become a youth pastor. When he didn’t know what he- or rather, his parents- had gotten into. When he hadn’t met Tweek yet. He had taken it as kind of an insult at the time, even when there was no reason to. It’s just weird when your best friend admits he thinks you’re gay. But it did get him thinking...

“Am I gay?”

“What?!”

Craig realized he had said that out loud. His eyes widened and all that came out of his mouth was an “uh”.

“I-It’s ok, man!” Tweek assured him, “There’s nothing wrong with… being gay, y’know?”

Craig stayed silent for a while, staring at Tweek and then at the floor.

“Not sure.” he simply stated before walking up the stairs with Tweek following him into his room.The atmosphere was awkward, but Craig ignored it, set down his snacks and soda, and took out Stripe.

The tension eventually cooled, and the boys had fun just talking and playing with Stripe. It was like nothing had mattered, and that nothing that day had ever happened. 

Kenny McCormick’s death was forgotten.

Suddenly, Craig heard the door opening, and the light, recognizable steps of his mother coming home. Craig promptly stood up.

“What’s wr-” Tweek started before getting “shhh”ed by Craig. Craig dropped down to his knees again and whispered into Tweek’s ear.

“We can’t pretend you’re sleeping over again,” Craig said, “It’d be too suspicious. You have to hide for the night.” Tweek let out a quiet “eep!” and starting looking around the pristine room. His eyes locked on Craig’s closet.

“Hide in there, I’ll go talk to my mom.” Craig assured Tweek, right as his mom started calling out to see if anybody was home. Craig yelled back that he was present as Tweek burrowed his way into the closet, locked the door, and sat down. Luckily, it wasn’t enough to trigger the binding spell. Craig could hear the steps coming up the stairs and right outside of his door.

“Hey sweetie.” she said, knocking, “I need to talk to you for a quick second.”

“What is it?” Craig asked, thinking about the endless possibilities this “talk” could be about. He hoped it wouldn’t involve Tweek. He creaked open the door slightly.

“Father Maxi called me last night.” his mom continued, “He said you ran out of the church before you were dismissed.” Craig let out a silent sigh of relief, and rolled his eyes enough for his mother to see.

“Craig, when you make a commitment to something, it’s a commitment. You can’t just go back on it.” This confused and angered Craig. He never committed to anything. It was his mom who made him do the whole Youth Pastor thing. Why would she think that he would want to spend all his Sundays doing that after church, and making himself look like a total dork at school?

“Yes, mom.” is what he said instead. He wasn’t in the mood to start anything, especially with his mother.

“We’re going to go to the church tomorrow afternoon and you’re going to apologize to Father Maxi, alright?” his mom affirmed. Craig just nodded and closed the door again. He could hear his mother sigh on the other end, and then heard the tapping of her shoes going back downstairs.

“It’s ok, Tweek, you can come out now.”

Tweek silently opened the closet door and crawled out. He looked up at Craig with a worried look before standing upright with a silent flap of his wings. 

“Dude, I can’t go in a church, I'll die! What do we do?!” 

“Shh shh shh, it’s okay, Tweek.” Craig responded, trying to get Tweek to whisper quieter, “Is there any way to unbind the hat?”

“Ngh… Not unless I go back to hell.” Tweek said while twitching and pulling at his hair.

“Shit, uhh… Maybe you can keep my hat on you and I could wear another one?” Craig reasoned.

“You’d give it to me? But you always wear that… what if it doesn’t work?!” 

“Let’s just hope it does.”

That night, after dinner and getting ready for bed, Craig sneaked some extra loose shirts and boxers from the laundry room for Tweek to wear as pajamas. He just hoped that his father wouldn’t notice the two long silts he cut out in the back anytime soon. Tweek also got to eat a stolen hamburger that the family was having that night, despite politely refusing on the grounds that he didn’t really need to eat. Craig insisted nonetheless, and Tweek had his first human dinner, much better than the mush offered to them at lunchtime in school.

When it was finally time for bed, Tweek once again retreated under Craig’s bed, he could tell by the ever-so erratic tail poking out on the side. 

Craig was curious to see what he would dream tonight, remembering his dream from yesterday. He knew it was probably about Tweek, but there’s no way that some old classmate of his really needs him back. Dreams are just a culmination of your psyche. It was all in his head, probably.

 

He awoke in the dream in a field surrounded by fire. The floor beneath him was red and hard, and the sky looked like a vortex of yellow and orange, with lightning occasionally flashing out. Craig suddenly felt someone’s eyes on him. He turned around sharply and saw…

“Kenny?!”

“Hey dude!”

Kenny was standing right in front of him, alive as ever. He didn’t look like he had been squashed by a heavy bathroom door just hours earlier.

“Where am I, Kenny?”

“Hell.” Kenny responded, “I’m glad I could talk to you before he came back.”

“Who’s ‘he’?” Craig asked, which Kenny ignored.

“You don’t have to feel bad for anything, Craig,” Kenny said in that cheeky tone he had moments before his death, “I’ll be back tomorrow, good as new, and no one will have to remember... Anyways, you and Tweekie are getting friendlier, huh?” Kenny winked through his parka.

“Before you died, were you planning on telling Butters about him?” Craig asked, ignoring that last question. Kenny stopped smirking, and took on a more serious look.

“No, I was just saying, it’d be an awful shame if Leo found out.” Kenny states, crossing his arms, “He’s so nice, isn’t he? He would probably tell Father Maxi all about it, he’s like a son to him.”

“That’s true.” Craig sighed. “But he’s not gonna find out. Me and Tweek will make sure of it.” The spark returned back to Kenny’s face.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that Craigory,”

“Don’t call me Cra-”

“You keep your little imp safe, now, I bet he hates it here just as much as me.”

Suddenly, a bright light began to surround Kenny. He glanced at it as if it were the most normal thing in the world. 

“Dude, what’s-” Craig started.

“Goodbye, Craig!” Kenny cut him off, waving, “It’s time for me to go, good luck with the big D! Haha… see what I did there? Big D…”

Suddenly, Kenny was gone in a flash of light, and Craig was left alone in the field of fire.

“Who’s the big D?” he asked himself out loud.

“Ugh, is he calling me that again?!” a shrill voice from behind him spoke. Craig whipped around to see the boy from yesterday’s dream on a large, decorated throne that wasn’t there before. His red eyes gleamed from the light of the fires, and he was staring right down at Craig.

“No matter,” he continued, “Craig Tucker, you’ve defied me.”

“Not my fault I thought you were just something I made up for a dream.”

“Yes it is your fault!!” Damien screamed, thumping his hands on the arms of the lavish throne. “You didn’t listen to me, and while you could have easily gone to the occult kids, and sent him back safely, you kept the weak t-”

Craig just rolled his eyes and flipped the son of Satan off.

“Did you give me the finger?!”

“No.” Craig said, putting his hands in his pockets. Damien squinted his eyes, and then floated down so he was standing right in front of Craig. He was shorter, Craig was used to being taller than everyone else, but he still gave the aura of intimidation Craig couldn’t ignore. His fists clenched in his pockets.

“Let me say, Craig, I have never seen a person so defiant as you.” he said in that girly voice that was still a bit funny to Craig, “How about we make a deal?”

“I’m not making a deal with the antichrist.” Craig responded. 

“Ah, come on, you give me back the minion, and I can supply whatever you please. Fame, fortune, wisdom, your own guinea rat planet, whatever you desire!”

“They’re not rats, asshole.” Craig replied, “No deal. I’m not letting Tweek go back to being pushed around by you.” 

Damien’s face was in shock for a moment, before he smiled, showing every one of his sharp, white teeth. He began to laugh.

“You want to do this the hard way, Craig Tucker?! I thought I gave you enough warning with the death of parka boy!!” he laughed maniacally, snapping his neck to create more of a demented effect.

“You… killed Kenny?” 

“A bastardly move, huh?” Damien chuckled, “But it wasn’t enough. So you know what, game on!” Damien’s eyes began to glow a fierce red. 

Craig took a step back, not realizing he had just put all his weight into a sinkhole Damien created behind him. He fell for a couple feet before being woken up in his bed, feeling like he fell from miles up.


End file.
